To Grandpa

So, I'm sorry I didn't post anything last night. I was distracted.
There's been...stuff...going on in my family. My grandpa had been feeling sick for a long time, and we finally got him to go see a doctor yesterday.
He has lung cancer. It's a big tumor and inoperable where it's placed, but we're not yet sure if it's malignant or benign. Please, make it benign.
I'm not good at this mushy emotional stuff, I'll tell you outright. For me, the less drama in my life, the better. So right now, I'm kind of in a quiet state of shock or whatever. What can I say, I'm a bottle-it-up type of girl. And something inside me is thinking that if I ignore the bad possibilities, they won't happen. And they won't, right?
My mom, sister, and I went to visit him today. There was lots of family there when he got back from tests, so we went to Barnes & Noble for a few hours and came back when it wasn't so crowded. We don't know anything more yet.
It's strange, seeing my mom cry. She didn't really cry, but her and everyone else's eyes were rimmed red all day. And everyone was sad, too. Sure, they tried to be lighthearted and keep a strong face, but there's this weight that pushed all their attempts down. I can feel it, too, like something is digging a hollow in my chest. It sounds like one of those crappy metaphors in a romance novel, but it's true. It really is.
But I won't bother you any more with my sadness. It's mine, after all, and not yours. So, goodnight.